In e.e. Cummings poem “Dive for Dreams” he says, “Trust your heart if the seas catch fire, live by love though the stars walk backwards. Honour the past, but welcome the future.”
This is a paraphrasing, but it’s a meaningful piece I extracted, memorized and have shared often.
It’s funny how a familiar poem, prose or some snippet of wisdom can suddenly take on new meaning when you’re able to apply it to your own life. A momentary pause will happen in my mind and I might actually utter, “Ahhhhh, I get it! That makes so much sense now!”
Cummings’ poem gifted me one of these moments that I’ve been able to use over and over. Trusting my heart if the seas catch fire? That’s easy enough. Trust my heart if life delivers an upheaval or adversity of some sort. Live by love though the stars walk backward? That one is not so easy to see. Stars walking backward? Huh? It’s not really about stars walking backward. The stars represent the events of your life and when you look back you can see how some of them connected to the exact moment you’re standing in. Sort of like saying hindsight is 20/20 - you can see things more clearly when you look back. So, now you live in love in every moment, trusting your heart to see the connection from your past to the present. You honour (this is Cummings original spelling which I will honour in this post) your past, but welcome the future.
I have read, heard and received the advice to not live in the past or to let go of the past more times than I can count. It has come from worldly poets (Cummings!), church sermons, the bible itself, my parents, teachers and friends. It must be good advice! Of course it is, BUT, I’ve had a hard time doing this when it comes to the death of my son. How am I supposed to leave him in the past or let him go? My pastor once gave a sermon on this very topic, but it left me so confused I sent him an email afterwards asking for clarification of where the answer was in his sermon. To this day, I am still not satisfied with the answer he gave.
I guess my brain works different than most. I can’t wrap my head around just leaving Ben in the past and letting him go as if his life was just a pretty red balloon that would disappear to the Heavens once it was out of sight and I would just walk away and move on. That’s how I picture letting go of my past. I wouldn’t be who I am without the experiences of my past, including Ben’s life and death. The events or “stars” of my life, as Cummings referred to them, have helped mold, shape and create me into me; especially the difficult ones. So, instead of letting go of the past, which I’ve been told a million times, I follow the prose of Cummings and honour the past. I am a better person because of my past experiences. I like to think of them as tools I’ve been given to safekeep for future use. Tools that better equip me for what’s yet to be. Tools I don’t want to leave behind. Tools I will honour because they encourage me to welcome the future as Cummings states.
So, the stars are what I’ve lived and learned. When I honour this, the future is certainly welcome. It’s like standing nose to nose with life’s adversities and beckoning them to let me choose the tool. Bring it on! I’ve got a past and I’m going to honour it by trusting my heart when you drop that match and try to set fire to my life. I’ve watched the stars walk backward and create real miracles. Yes, miracles! More than one!
Ben’s death taught me how to live; because tomorrow is promised to no one, he taught me to appreciate life moment by moment, day by day and so on. The selfless and passionate way he lived taught me to do the same. His legacy is that of a soul who was giving and kind and who valued his freedom so much he ensured others would have it by laying down his life. He ensured strangers would live when he donated his organs upon his death. This is my past, I won’t let it go. It has sharpened my tools and given me choices when adversity comes knocking.
I have been blindsided believing the tools I already have were enough. I believed they were sharp and shiny and I wouldn’t need more. I was wrong. This is why I welcome the future. I welcome new tools and opportunities to use them. My tools are no good if I don’t trust my heart when the seas catch fire, live by love though the stars walk backward, honour my past and welcome the future. Thank you e.e. Cummings for that beautiful advice.
Was googling the meaning of this beautiful poem and stumbled here by chance. Thank you, it was beautiful, moving and it inspired me 🙂