Outlasting Your Life

Max Lucado is one of my favorite authors. He has the ability to take a topic that I might overthink and explain it in a way that is easy to understand. He simplifies real life experiences to help you see things in deep and meaningful ways. In his book entitled Outlive Your Life, he says, “We are invited by a great God to do great works. He invites us to outlive our lives, not just in Heaven, but here on earth.” He adds, “Here’s a salute to a long life, goodness that outlives the grave and love that outlasts the final breath. May you live in such a way that your death is just the beginning of your life.”

How is that your death is just the beginning of your life? How do you outlive your life? These questions can certainly provoke deep thought, however, for me, that wasn’t the case. The answer(s) came to me immediately: organ donation. Beginning at the age of fifteen, when my eleven year old brother was struck by a car and became an organ donor, this concept has been a part of my life for most of my life. Several months after my brother’s donations, my family received a letter of thanks from the recipient of one of his kidneys. I realized then what a gift it was. Seven years later, a close friend donated a kidney to his brother. I was with him during the process and witnessed this gift of life from another side. His brother lived 25 more years with his donated kidney. That incredibly selfless act, still resonates with me today.

According to Donate Life America, 115,000 people are waiting for an organ to save their lives. Every ten minutes someone new is added to the waiting list. Sadly, twenty-two people die each day waiting for a transplant. The donation of your corneas can restore the sight of two people. The donation of your organs can save the lives of eight people. The donation of your organs, eyes and tissue can save and heal the lives of seventy-five people! Now THAT is goodness that outlasts the grave!

In July of 2009, twenty-seven years after my brothers death, my son Ben was shot while actively serving as an Army Ranger. He survived his injuries for several days until it was determined that he was brain dead, enabling him to become an organ donor. He directly saved the lives of four people with the donation of his heart, kidneys and liver and enhanced the lives of sixty more with the donation of his bone, skin and tissue. Including the six lives he saved on the battlefield, that is definitely outliving your life here on earth. I have had the pleasure of meeting the recipients of Ben’s kidneys and liver and put my hand on the chest of the woman who received Ben’s heart to feel him marching on. Not long after he died, a military blogger named Michael Yon wrote, “The effect of Corporal Kopp did not end on the battlefields of Afghanistan; he only regrouped and continued to serve.” He also referred to Ben as “the Army Ranger who refused to die and who couldn’t be killed”, because his heart literally never stopped beating.

The man who received Ben’s liver became a grandfather this past year. He would not know his grandchild if Ben hadn’t chosen to be an organ donor. One of the men who received Ben’s kidney had suffered through many years of dialysis while waiting for his gift of life. He died eight months later of a completely unrelated health issue, but his wife and son were so grateful for those eight healthy months Fred had, they made a memorial table for Ben at his funeral. The other gentleman that received Ben’s kidney was fifteen years old and was facing the same fate as Fred until his family got the call that a match had been found. The doctors had told his parents the wait could be as long as three years, but Ben answered their prayers for a miracle only three DAYS after he was placed on the transplant waiting list.

Other than Fred’s death, unrelated to Ben’s kidney, his recipients have not had any issues with rejection. His heart recipient boasts of being in an extremely rare 5% of people, nine years post transplant, who are no longer on high doses of anti-rejection drugs. It is easy to discern that Ben’s heart was, in fact, a perfect match for her.

Ben’s donations were multi-faceted. He saved the lives of two African American men aged 15 and 31, a caucasian male three times his age, and a caucasian female thirty six years older than him. Age, race and sex are not requirements to becoming the perfect match for someone. Ben knocked this theory out of the park. Talk about goodness that outlives the grave!

Being a donor sister and mother makes me a strong advocate for organ donation. Knowing my brother and son saved lives when their own came to an end, has been a balance for my sorrow. Knowing that other families will be spared from having to say premature goodbyes like I have, makes my heart happy. The gift of organ donation happens not because someone died, but because they lived.

As often as possible, I encourage people to register to become organ donors. Over the course of nearly forty years, I have seen sorrow become overshadowed by joy as organ recipients and their families expressed gratitude to my family and to me. I know that the spirit and the legacy of my brother and son will continue to live in those families as well as in the hearts of all who loved them in their brief but remarkably purpose filled lives.

I encourage each of you to talk to your loved ones about organ donation. Discuss your questions and concerns and do some research. You can visit https://www.donatelife.net for more information and to register as a donor. As an organ donor, you are gifting someone life, when death seemed imminent. They will receive a new beginning, and, that to me, is a beautiful way to end my time on earth.