Just Keep Going

My friend John often ends our conversations with two words, “Keep going.” Although I expect to hear it every time we talk, his words still inspire me. While going through a difficult time many years ago, a friend shared this simple advice with him and it stuck. Easier said than done at times, yet can be so powerful when we do.

“Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Tip Toe if you must, but take the step.” -Naeem Callaway

Keep putting one foot in front of the other or take baby steps. Both will get you the same result; you are moving, you are in motion, and, hopefully, in a positive direction. I have not been one to sit still for long. I am constantly on the lookout for ways to improve my situation. Over the last several years, I have come to embrace change. I might even admit that I crave it. I also embrace being still, but not in a way that encourages complacency.

In 2006 I put my house on the market with the intention of moving out of state. Unfortunately, this was year the housing market completely crashed and spoiled my plan. I stayed put for nine more years until lightning started my house on fire and forced me out. Since then, I have steadily “kept going.” I had lived in that city for seventeen years, thirteen of them in the same house.

In my early twenties, I ventured to Las Vegas with a friend. We spent some time soaking up the desert sun on the rooftop pool. One afternoon there was a sizable dark cloud hovering in the sky. I commented that it looked like it was going to rain or storm soon. A gentleman sitting within earshot laughed out loud and replied that I must not be from there. “How would you know that?, I questioned.” He said, “Because that cloud will be there all day!” He was right! It didn’t move. This was the epitome of how I would describe what “stagnant” looks like. I think of this often when I feel the need to keep going. I don’t want to become a cloud filled with darkness waiting to dump on anyone.

Change is inevitable, like it or not, it can’t be avoided. We do have some control over this, but for the most part, my character has been built by the things I had no control over. Being a Minnesota native has taught me to expect change. I believe anyone who has lived in a place with extreme season and weather changes has no choice but to adapt. These changes taught me to be expectant of something better, which may come in five minutes, five weeks or five months! Either way, I didn’t believe or hope a change in the weather would come, I KNEW it would. This type of mindset doesn’t allow for being stagnant. I have taken this and applied it to life and kept going, no matter what adversity has landed in my lap.

There was definitely a time in my life when it was necessary for me to provide a stable home for my son and it wasn’t feasible to be on the move. Once he left for the military, freedom took on a new meaning for me and my nomadic spirit came alive. Raising Ben as a single mom didn’t afford me the luxury of travel. That changed once I didn’t need to be home for him. I sought adventure, but always found comfort in the home base I had to come back to. Years later, my fire would throw that notion to the wind. I now find comfort in being on the move.

“When the winds of change blow, some people build walls, others build windmills.” -Chinese Proverb

I also love being still. While this may seem like a contradiction to all my talk of being on the move, being still is what helps me find peace. My stillness does not mean I am doing nothing. This is the place I accept who I am and offer gratitude for being able to express myself in a way I had not been able to in the past. When the winds of adversity have struck I have allowed them to keep me sailing rather than collapsing my sails and keeping me on shore.

When I left Minnesota for Florida, I was excited for the year round warmth and sunshine. It was wonderful for awhile, until I craved a change that rarely came. As crazy as it sounds, sunny and eighty-five degrees every day was boring. It felt stagnant. I missed the seasonal changes and grew restless. After two years, I moved to Indiana and was reintroduced to extreme weather changes. Snow, cold and a beautiful white sand beach five minutes from my front door was just what my soul needed. I lasted almost a year before I felt called back to Minnesota. Am I crazy to come back to extreme winter? I can’t really argue with anyone who thinks so, but I am happy to be here. It’s not that I wasn’t happy in Florida and Indiana, I was overcome with the desire to keep going.

Since my fire launched me out of Minnesota, I have lived in three states and in three different places while in Florida alone. The constant change adds to my character and keeps my resilience and adaptability a step ahead. I have chosen this lifestyle and I like it. It’s not possible for everyone, I know this. My time for it is now. When I was contemplating moving in 2006, I was apprehensive about leaving friends and family. A friend told me that “home” would always be wherever my heart was happy. I have discerned that my heart is happy wherever I am called to go because I am being true to myself. I am gaining experiences that polish my character, because I have chosen to keep going.

Today I walked three miles in light snow and a crisp, twenty degree breeze brushing my cheeks. There was also a glorious frost covering the foliage around in a shiny silver glow. I was in my element; content and happy. I am home - again - for now.

“People don’t notice whether it’s winter or summer when they’re happy.” - Anton Chekhov