Change of Command

I recently attended the change of command and retirement ceremonies for Generals Joe Votel and Tony Thomas, the outgoing Commanders of the United States Central Command and the United States Special Operations Command in Tampa, Florida. They are both four star generals and both actively served thirty-nine years. The power they held and thus turned over, is something I believe most, including myself, cannot comprehend.

I have had the privilege to know each of them personally. Like me, General Votel is a native Minnesotan. On August 1st, 2009, he spoke at the funeral for my son, Ben. Six days later, he was my personal escort the day Ben was laid to rest at Arlington National Cemetery. We kept in contact over the years and while I was living in Florida, I was invited to attend special events while he served as the CENTCOM Commander at MacDill Air Force Base in Tampa.

My history with General Thomas doesn’t go back as far, however, I was able to get to know him during the time I spent in Florida. Both of these men epitomize what it means to be humble. Both treated me with utmost respect and kindness every time I saw them. I was humbled to be in their presence, yet, despite their military rank and stature, I never felt intimidated. I didn’t ask about their jobs or what exactly they did: their work was done behind the scenes. I simply respected their power and ability to do what they were qualified to do. Even though I was never witness to any of it, I am certainly not qualified to judge it!

These Commanders, Generals, and the countless men and women whose ranks they oversee, defend our freedom and liberties 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year. There is no break in the action, they just rotate people. Just because you can’t see them doesn’t mean they aren’t working on your behalf. Don’t be fooled by their autonomy, they are fighting for you.

We have been in an active state of combat for seventeen and a half years. Many don’t know the magnitude of the forces that stand at the ready to keep us safe. I have been incredibly blessed to rub elbows with and call many men such as these, friends. Truth be told, they are my family. Every one of them is humble as the day is long. Two men that actively served as Rangers the same time as my son, recently returned from their 18th and 20th deployments. Read that again! These giants of men walk quietly among us demanding no attention.

What these men do and how it incorporates into my life reminds me of God. They take care of me from the shadows, from a place I cannot see. They hide in the depths, knowing full well the risks they are taking, and ask nothing in return.

From the day my son left for the Army, my life would forever change. I didn’t see it coming, it unraveled over time. My faith grew deeper as his life became more autonomous because of the profession he chose. I became my own prayer warrior when I realized that I needed God to watch over me just as much as Ben did while he actively served during a time of war as an Army Ranger. I had a relationship with God before he left, but didn’t know how much I really needed Him until the days passed into weeks, the weeks into months and the months into years of Ben being in harm's way.

A change in command came full force for me when Ben died, eight days after being wounded during his third deployment. God became my commander. He was before, I just didn’t recognize him the same way. It’s almost as if I gave Him a promotion to a higher rank and acknowledged that I needed His strength, His courage and His faith to get me through the long, uphill battle I was now facing. He was the experienced one, I was not. I needed His leadership skills to stand by my side and lead me towards my new normal.

“No person was ever honored for what he received. Honor has been the reward for what he gave”. - Calvin Coolidge

As I write this ten years after Ben’s transition to God’s Army, I would not be where I am without allowing God to have command and be the Leader in my life. I can’t see Him, but I know He is there. I know He is always on my side and fights for me against the enemy. I see the men (and their families) that I mentioned earlier much the same way. I can’t see where they are, but I know they are in a continual fight to keep me safe. Their strength and their courage protect me (and all of you) for the greater good. Eighteen and twenty deployments equals at least that many years in a continual state of sacrifice. I can’t begin to wrap my head around this, I can only trust that their abilities outweigh mine by nine trips around the sun and in return offer thanks every single day that men such as these walk the earth.

I was honored to be personally invited to the ceremonies of Generals’ Votel and Thomas. As men of great honor and valor, their humility is second to none. For all that was done to ensure the safe return from an 18th and 20th deployment, my gratitude for all they, and their families have given in the name of freedom, runs deep. I get to attend these kinds of events, because my son changed my command. It changed because he lived, not because he died, but when he did, he made darn sure I would get to walk amongst and count as friends some of the greatest men our beautiful America knows.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat." -Theodore Roosevelt